Before The Miracle
Posted Jueves 15 septiembre 2005on:
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This is an email I sent to Lauren in answer to her last comment, before The Miracle:
“(…) If I worry this days, it’s because it’s sometimes hard to trust in God when you see that his own people are not doing what they are suppose to do. I explain.
D and I came here because we are convinced that D’s calling is to become a pastor. When we were in Montreal, both studying opera, it became obvious that
we were in the wrong track. What we were doing became not as important anymore (practices, rehearsals, concerts…)
One year before moving here, D applied to the seminary, sending the letter of recommendation from our pastor, letters from friends of the church we were
going to, as well as his transcripts from the Conservatory. He had stopped studying there for lack of motivation and money… but what the heck if the
will of God is stronger than the will of men anyway, right?!
During this one year, he worked full-time and I finished my bachelor’s degree. We were waiting for a letter of acceptation, but nothing came except the “Lutheran friendship” newsletter… We were wondering if that was the way they do things here, we told our pastor who said “not to worry about details”. So, not having any positive answer, but none negative either, we moved here…
When we arrived, we had found an apartment, yes, but none of us had a job, we didn’t know where to look for one, it was hard. We introduced ourselves to the (then) president of the seminary who didn’t know what to do… Apparently, to study full-time at the seminary, one has to have a bachelor’s degree, there is no other option. Why didn’t say anything BEFORE?!?
Now we are both working full-time, because my salary is far from being enough for us both. If he stops working, he won’t have the money to study. If he keeps working, he won’t have time (and energy) to study. The solution would be that I find a day-time job, but there is none I can think of, or start teaching at home, but where and how will I find the students?
And then, my reason for crying and getting mad (sometimes) is that I love teaching, but the schools that employ me take more than 50% of commission from what the students/parents pay. This is, in my opinion, too much for the service they give ME. Yes, there is the rent of the building, facilities and publicity, but the desk service is so poor that I am the one taking care of my schedule, making phone calls and arranging missed/make up lessons…
There we go, I said it all. I think =)
Of course, once in a while I freak out… but at the end, there is nothing more I can do, really. And sooner or later (it might take years), D will be ordained pastor and we will be serving the Almighty all of our lives. Everything that happens has a reason, maybe God wanted us to see how it works: that the seminary gives more importance to the academics (men’s recognition) than in what God’s will for his
It sucks though.
What I didn’t tell is that the solution for me getting better financially is either find an additional day-time job, or teach at home (which I would prefer). BUT.
1) I don’t know how to make myself known (except stealing students from the schools, which I’m too nice to do)
2) My actual keyboard is total shit and a new one (even second-hand) is too expensive.