Kaleidoscope

What is Love?

Posted on: Martes 19 abril 2005

Lately I’ve been reading posts and answering different people who were arguing on: What is love? What does make a marriage work out? Is money important to secure a relationship?, and so on… I use to be part of that bunch of people thinking that “all the men are the same”, but I don’t think alike anymore, not since I got to learn (and am still learning) about what love is really all about. I do like to think that I didn’t marry a man who is not just the same as the others, as well as I wouldn’t like him to think that I’m not special after all…

So I answer those people in forum threads and blogs’ comments that they are wrong, and that they don’t know what love is… And you know what? Well, I’ve realized that even if I yell it at the world, only a few people will understand what I am talking about, because what is really wrong is to put people in a nutshell. What is wrong is to generalize and think of the world as a bunch of stereotypes. So, please: I am not a stereotype of any sort, neither is my beloved one, neither LOVE ! Thank you!

Maybe I should be clear now and explain my view… My parents are, and have always be putting me, and my brother in stereotypes: if I had said something out of the ordinary one day, it would stick to me for years as “Noelia is like that“, and that, of course, would be the same thing as an aunt, a neighbor, or one of my grandmas (could be nice or bad, depending on that)… I never liked generalizations and stereotypes. When Daniel and I announced that we were getting married, my parents didn’t like the idea, for many reasons of their own, but of course the first thing they had to do was compare our case with all the examples they could think of around them.

First, they said, “we got married later than you did”. My mum had finished her studies and had been teaching for 2 years or so, and my dad had been working and traveling for years when they met. They got married, not because they were crazy in love with each other, but because they wanted to raise a family, that is, have kids. They liked each other, and I suppose, they were fulfilling the stereotype of whatever perfect husband/wife they had in their mind… Did it worked out? Well depending on the point of view, I had a friend tell me, “they have been together 20 years, though, before divorcing”. Yes, that’s true, but did my brother and I witness years of love and happiness? I don’t think so…

After this, because we were not changing our mind, they had to compare us with the others, that is the other couples of our generation, who don’t get married but prefer to experience the life together before getting married, just in case. Well, I’m sorry, but there is no in case with me, if you are not serious about this relationship, if you don’t love me, then there is no point about trying me in the first place. I had told my (then) fiancé…

Well, all this was to explain what love, for me, is… What I lived and what my husband had discussed and realized for ourselves, is not necessarily what other couples will have discussed. We both believe in what is written in the Bible as the truth, so that helps because that’s how we both define what does our hearts want.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things,endures all things.
Love never ends.

And that’s something else, “Love never ends”. Assuming that that’s the truth, and I know it is, how can 2 people stop loving each other? Well, the answer is that either they never loved each other, in which case love for them was an illusion of what they
thought it should be… OR other things have become, or have been more important than love in their life, in which case they killed it!

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.

Because love cannot be bought, it cannot be faked (real love, that is).

1 Response to "What is Love?"

N,Donc, tu parles francais? C’est lauren emily, tu as ajoute un ‘comment’ sur mon blog aujourd’hui… j’aimais bien ce que tu m’as dit, de simplement profiter de la vie moi-meme, sans m’inquieter d’autres personnes… C’est vrai que j’essaie de faire ceci, mais quand un garcon/homme arrive, je deviens tres occupee de lui. en fait, moi aussi, j’ai voyage (et meme habite, un peu) en france toute seule. j’ai un tres bon ami, avec que je suis sortie pendant 3 mois pendant que j’habitais en france qui s’appelle pierre, il est francais, c’est peut-etre mon meilleur ami. il est vraiment, vraiment trop sympa et sensible, je l’aime beaucoup. mais il ne veut plus sortir, c’etait moi qui est revenue aux usa et apres, il ne voulait plus sortir. il est venu me rendre visite l’ete derniere, et il veut encore le faire cette ete, mais je lui ai dit ‘non’ parce que c’est tres difficile pour moi qu’on ne sort plus. je pleurais presque tout le temps quand il etait ici l’ete derniere… je ne sais pas quoi faire. qu’est-ce que tu en penses? et je suis tres contente que tu m’as repondu et aussi que tu parles francais et que tu t’es mariee a ton meilleur ami… c’est tres bien pour toi. fais attention de ne pas juger les autres simplement parce qu’ils n’ont pas encore autant de chance que toi d’avoir deja trouve leurs vrais amours… je pense que Dieu a le bon moment pour tout le monde; ce n’est pas encore mon moment. 😦 ecris-moi encore bientot! :)lauren emily

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